sometimes things happen and desires that have been constantly suppressed come to the fore again
YHVH i noe i have surrendered it to u
given it to u
cos i wan nothin dat is nt of u
i wan onli wat u wan for mi
to live in ur perfect will
and so i have surrendered dis particular desire of mine
bt i cant escape d feelin
i trust u with my life
i entrust my life into ur loving hands
n i dont noe the plans u hav for mi bt i noe dat watever ur plan is u will bring it to pass
dat ur plans r gd a rite
bt every often
i'm tempted to haul up again wat i hav cast down, laid dwn at ur feet
i wan to be a doctor
i wan to study medicine
i even noe wat i might wan to specialise in pediatrics
bt i lay it at ur feet again
and Your will be done in my life
and i will wait on u
i will wait n rest in u
i will rest n be at peace
i will be at peace for u r Elo
d Elo hu has searched me and known me
hu noes my sitting dwn n my rising up
hu understands my thots afar off
hu compass my path, n my lying dwn
n hu is acquainted with all my ways
oookies dis is d most recent lesson, dis is today's lesson
lesson number three: cleavin to Him
He is teaching me to cleave to Him n to lean on Him as fight d gd fight to run d race of life dat He has purposed for mi thru my paddlin partner
being d weaker one on d water by virtue of her Elo-given size
(dont get mi wrong she's amazin at other stuff u shld jus see d no. of pullups she can do :) )
she acknowledges dis n does smtg abt it
she fights d gd fight at every trg, clingin onto her ride, nvr lettin go, n when she falls off she climbs right back up
likewise in our relationship with Elo we shld acknowledge dat we r weak n dat of our own we can do nothin
n when we realise dis we shld nt despair bt press on by cleavin n clingin to Him
cos He is our salvation
our source of strength n safe refuge in times of need
n when we build our hse upon d Rock, upon Him, d wind and the rain may come bt our hse will nt fall
(unlike mi i cant prevent d wind frm blowing my fren back, bt He can!)
i like d hebrew meaning of d word cleave it means to impinge, i.e. cling or adhere; figuratively, to catch by pursuit:--abide fast, cleave (fast together), follow close (hard after), be joined (together), keep (fast), overtake, pursue hard, stick, take.
to catch by pursuit, to run aft Him
to be joined, to walk onli where He walks to walk so closely w Him dat u r inseparable
dis cleavin adds new meaning to d verse with Elo all things are possible
cos nt onli can He do all things
but d added implication is dat if we walk with Him in His will all things are possible
with Him, He gives us our daily bread, He provides a way of escape, He carries us, He establishes us.
hurhurhur yet another lesson its all back logged mostly frm d time when i didnt hav time to write it all dwn bt finally mid terms r over n i'm takin a breather b4 i dig in into n pile of projects n essays in d days ahead
lesson number two: a way of escape
He is a wonderful Elohim, n if we keep our hearts open
He is faithful and just
He reveals Himself to us His words comes to life in d people and situations we encounter in dis journey of life
He gave me a taste of dis verse in 1 Corinthians 10:13 "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but Elohim is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." in the way coach coaches us
coach sets the program and trg is tough n difficult bt he noes our limits n when d prog is beyond us he is lets us off for d time being n cuts d prog, not to say dat he doesnt get wat we wans out of d trg though. n when we r tired he carries us on on his wash
in d same way YHVH is like dat
in our walk with Him
He sets us tests to train us, dat our faith may grow n bear fruit
bt at the same time He noes our limits dat our days r like grass
and He is every ready to provide the strength and the grace needed to accomplish wat He requires of us
and when we are weak den we r strong cos He will pick us up n carry us thru
He provides a way of escape, carrying us thru
like in the footprints in d sand written by Mary Stevenson
"One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied:
"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you." "
i tink dis will b a start of a record of d lessons dat YHVH is teachin mi even while i'm paddling
something to look back n encourage myself when i'm dwn
a testimony of His goodness in revealing Himself to me
a proclamation that my YHVH my Elohim is real
oookies lets get dwn to lesson number one: daily bread
everyday He teaches me to rely on Him for strength
n when i do i'm carried thru the trg on eagle's wings
and my faith is strengthened because i noe dat He lives n He answers prayers
He orders my steps so dat my feet did nt slip
i can count on Him to lead mi n guide mi through d day dat i may keep myself frm my iniquity n walk daily in His perfect will for every single moment of my life
n slowly He is answerin my prayer revealin to mi His plan and purpose for my life
n oh d joy n peace to b found when u r in His will
safe in His loving arms
when i fall, n we all fall, He is quick to chasten
n when i repent n ask His forgiveness,
in His abundant mercy n grace, He is quick to forgive, to blot out my transgression
and dere is no condemnation in Him
onli d joy n d love at d return of d prodigal son
my love for Him grows each day for He has forgiven mi much
He gives mi everday my daily bread,
revealin His daily plan for my life n d grace n strength to carry it thru cos He orders my steps
n my soul is satisfied
blessed 21st birthday mary ann!
many happy returns of d day!
n may u always experience sevenfold d fun, love n laughter dat u hav brought to my life
may u hav gd health, wisdom n understandin dat u may cont to excel in everythin u do
may u cont to grow in character n maturity
may u be blessed for d blessing u hav been to mi
blessed birthday my dearest fren :)
dis post goes out to my coach
who doesnt mind givin up his rest days so dat i can hav mine n still hav a full trg wk
who constantly pushes us to finish crazy trgs bt yet give us huge discounts when we need it
who is my paddlin partner when my usual paddlin partners cant make d trg
who keeps me entertained, my mind keen n sharp w bridge games
who believes in me
who is generous w his hard earned money always willin to dig into his pocket to nourish us
who cares nt onli abt trg bt also bt d rest of our lives outside trg
who shares his experiences n existence w us w his anecdotes n short stories
who is every ready to get us better trg deals, takin up our cause w d federation
he truly is Elo-sent
n i pray dat YHVH blesses u n ur family for ur kindness n love towards us
today u worried dat i had some family crisis n didnt hav money to buy food to eat
n took me aside w an offer of money to tide mi over
i thank u n bless u
may YHVH look kindly on u n show u mercy, reveal Himself to u dat u may truly b blessed for an eternity
disclaimer: dere is no family crisis. it was high sabbath so no buyin n sellin was allowed.
Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
i'll prob never post dis but.. it jus need to get it out of my system
nvr say bad things abt pple
esp on d net where it can b accessed for all to see cos sometime somehow d person u tok bad abt will get to noe abt it
n well wat comes arnd goes arnd
for dat matter if u got nothin gd to say abt d person dun say it
dun gossip
cos it doesnt benefit anyone
but i guess wat u sow u reap
oh wells
we all make mistakes
i guess it jus hurts to b on d receivin end
i hope dat no one has to go thru d pain
y cant pple tell u str to ur face wat dey tink abt u
y do u always hav to find out like
much ltr
or like thru d gossip vine
or like frm their blogs
y r we such hypocrites dat we put on a veneer of friendship even as we r stabbin d other person in d back
y r we such great fakes
so adapt at hidin our true feelings
y is it so easy to misunderstand
y dont we all see d same stuff
i dun ask to b d favorite
u can b too if u'll jus take d time to tok n to listen
to a lonely man far from home
i made dat mistake once n i wont again
so wat if i'm called a bootlicker
i was in ur place now i had d choice to remain d favorite or to stand on the other side looking in
despising d boot licker
tinkin i shld nt give in to favoritism
n in d end we all got hurt
now d cycle is beginnin again
wat do u wan mi to do
separate myself?
sometimes our memories fail us n we
say stupid stuff dat when our memories return make us wan to dig a hole n hide in shame
one thing i hav learnt frm dis race is to bridle ur tongue
to speak onli things dat r gd n noble
n maybe i'm just a little too proud n self righteous
i dunnoe
search me n noe my heart see if dere is any wicked way in mi n lead mi in Your way everlastin
n if i hav done wrong help mi to see my wrong
to make restitution sevenfold
i hav wandered frm Your way
i honored u with my lips bt my heart was far frm You
forgive mi Lord
n return n draw mi back to You
guide my paths, my goin in n my comin out
for my heart is wicked
n like a dog i hav returned to my vomit
return O Lord save me for Your namesake
for my life is like the grass that today is n tommorow whithers away
let them nt say she trusted in Him n dere was none to save
let nt Your name O Lord go dwn into the dust
for i am frail n weak
n my sins n my iniquities r ever before mi
make an end O Lord
save mi for Your mercies sake
make mi to walk in Your ways
guard my steps that i may nt slip
dat my life Lord will be a testimony of Your goodness
i will hope in Your faithfulness
dat my Elohim will finish wat He has begun
i will praise You n give You glory for all you've done n for all you're goin to do
in my life Lord be glorified
i guess i shall post dis aft all
cos i thank Him for His everlastin mercies
dat like a father He chastens me
n shows mi my wrong
He brings mi to my knees in repentance
in awe of Him i will bow down
because only He is perfect n righteous n good
my own righteousness is like filthy rags before Him
dere is none good except my Elohim
n i fall face dwn before His throne
O return O Lord
n save mi from my sins from the wickedness of my heart
what is death to them that are in Yeshua the Messiah?
it is but a deep sleep
a rest
from which they will rise in the ressurection at the last day
so to live is Christ and to die is gain
for to them that are in Yeshua the Messiah
there is that hope of glory
hope of salvation
that we will be reunited for an eternity with Him our Maker
so death is not the end but the beginning
for our loved ones who die in Yeshua
there is no need to sorrow
no need to weep bitterly
for to die is to shed off this mortal shell
the body that we see before us is but a shell
and their spirit has returned to be with their Maker YHWH the Elohim of heaven and earth
and we shall see them again
they have finished the race
and in that day when He shall return they shall receive the prize
but for those that are dying who are not in Yeshua
we should weep
for death will not be a happy ending
but the beginning of greater sorrows and suffering
for they will be eternally cut off, separated from YHWH
for them we should weep bitterly
pray desperately that YHWH might have mercy on their soul
that they, before they should go into the night shall come to the knowledge of His Son
and be spared from eternal death
for to be cut of from Elohim the lifegiver is death for the spirit and the soul
pray that the veil of unbelief should be taken away from the eyes of their heart
that they should believe in His Son Yeshua who is the only door to the Father
for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of Elohim
for its is only in repentance that Yeshua's blood will wash away our sins
that we may enter boldly into YHWH's presence
that we may stand before Him on Judgment Day
in the spiritual sense
when we believe in Yeshua,
even though we were dead in the spirit to YHWH
yet we shall live for Yeshua is the ressurection and the life
we must first die to ourselves,
that we may live in Christ
just back from a mission trip to myanmar
was the shortest ever trip only 5 days in total
came back early
the trip was an eyeopener
the abject poverty, the debilitated buildings, the shacks in the slums
the worse was seen the hunger n starvation suffered
big stomachs not from having too much but from having too little
i will never forget the eyes of the boy carrying his starved young brother
they were eyes that had seen too much
they told of the immense pain of impending loss
they held in them the despair and rage of helplessness
the needs of this country left behind in the days of yesteryears are plentiful and enormous
the breach is nigh impossible to repair
but even more important is the spiritual needs of the people there
a people hungry, starved for the manna from heaven
and my prayer is that YHWH our Father in heaven will give them the daily bread
that He will send more labourers to feed and nourish His people
to bring to them the hope of their salavation
a life that is in the Messiah
the glory of the kingdom that is to come
i pray that only good seed take root in their hearts
that they may grow and bear forth fruits of righteousness
just passing
through...
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